Mommy's Corner

CAN WE HAVE IT ALL

2012-01-19T19:17:00.001-05:00

Some say why can't we have it all. Why can't we have a family a career and or a business! Why are we made to feel guilty about the decisions we make especially if they include wanting to be successful. As a business owner I know it's hard enough to run a business and try to be a full time stay at home mom or working mom and your business be successful. We can try and juggle it all but from experience and seeing other women something WILL be sacrificed. As hard as we try and juggle and multi task something always seems to fall by the wayside. And sometimes women decide to sacrifice not even having a family at all.

There are some things we don’t get to do over in life and one of them is being a parent. If you decide to be a stay at home mom or a working mom is all a personal choice. These days society has made it that you cannot survive if you have a family off a one person income or the struggle will really be on. Just look at a lot of the single mothers trying to do it all on there own. This leaves your child alone a lot of times you have to put you child in daycare, get a nanny etc and let some one else fill the gap and help raise you child and that to can be expensive. The question sometimes is can we trust these people that watch and take care of our children? Besides no one can care for our children the way we can. That’s where the frustration comes in for some of us. You want to be at home with your child but at the same time you need the money to take care of them. So what do you do? How did they do it back in the day with all those kids and so few resources? Well most of them trusted God to be there provider. He is the source and everything else is a resource. So why can’t we trust HIM now? Everything is expensive and bottom line is we always want bigger, better and MORE.

There are a lot of demands on a working mom. Our role was always to be home centered first but some how we got off of that. Yes you can have a family and a job, career, business and be every woman but the pressures are made that you give more to your job than you do home. Something always seems to lack and unfortunately its normally home. A job can come and go but your family, and kids will always be there. You go to work, which is your second job and then come home and go to your first job and really when you are at work you still are on your first job because being a mom is a 24 hour job. Will they call you and tell you your child is sick, you call and make appointments, you do everything because this child is depending on your for everything. So the demand of home is high, the demand of your job is high, now you getting frustrated. You are snappy at your husband or anyone else around, you become short tempered, your stressed and then you ask, when am I going to have time for myself? This becomes one of those Calgon take me away moments. So what do you do? Lets evaluate this.

You are getting pulled in so many different directions, you are stressed then the negative vibes ware off when you come home on your kids or mate and you snap at them and pop them because your patience is just gone. Men will never understand the demands and challenges of being a mom and why because they were not made to fulfill that role which is the same reason why they were not made to carry the children. Were you ever amazed at how we can easily just transition into the role of being a mother? The making bottles, caring for them, making sure they have everything they need, being the chauffeur, the on call nurse, the everything, and the joy just comes in when you get that smile form your child or that pat on the leg and they say momma, the hugs or just a laugh uncontrollably when you play with them or chase them. That’s where the guilt comes in. You are so tired from work that you miss out on a lot of this because you don’t have the energy to now come home and play and do homework and cook dinner and get ready to do the same thing tomorrow. You already feel bad you have to go back to work and let some one else raise them and have those moments. You miss the first walk, the fall downs and having some one else tell them its going to be ok and kiss the boo boo and make it feel better. All moments we cannot get back and all moments we think about while we are at work staring at a picture of them or just thinking about what they are doing. And then we wonder how they grow up so fast because we missed most of it being at work trying to provide for needs and some greeds and you try to sneak in a sick or a slick day every now and then to try and make up time but once its gone you can never get it back.

So can we have it all? You may be one of the blessed few who can have the best of both worlds both at home working taking care of business and taking care of your kids. I have been on both sides and eventually you will have to make a choice of which will come first. I am fortunate to say I do have it all but my kids will always come first in everything I seek to do.

The Spectacle That is Made of Marriage!

2011-12-28T18:51:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. This is one of the topics that I am most passionate about.

Why do some people go into marriage with an escape clause. Why do you even say in your vows until death do us part if you really don’t mean to. Why do you get married in a church and before the Lord if you really don’t want to live by his standards. What is irreconcilable differences? I don’t see that any where in the Bible.

You are suppose to exhaust every option before you get a divorce unless there is physical abuse or continued cheating and even in the cheating God can always restore that person. In this day an age people don’t take marriage seriously. It’s just a joke or something to do for the moment until the next best thing comes along. Some people just want the wedding day and not the marriage.

The statistics say that 80 percent of Americans are Christian. If that’s so then why is it that the divorce rate is higher in the church than the world. God did not intend for us to get a divorce. Don’t you know that if you divorce for any other reason other than adultery and you go and marry someone else you are considered an adulterer. No one is teaching the truth these days and in the Bible it says its better not to make a vow than to make a vow and break it. These days people cant stay married for 25 seconds. Let alone 50 years like our ancestors use to.

The Bible says you should not be unequally yoked. People think if we get married than I can change him or her wrong. I am a big advocate for marriage counseling. If people would just take the time to get some good Godly marriage counseling before you jump into the union you will find out who that person really is in that counseling thus avoiding a lot of these divorces. You may be able to fool a person but you cant fool God. Sooner of later the covers will come off you cant fake it for long.

I am appalled at the spectacle that people are making of marriage. It seems like a joke. People are getting married for all the wrong reasons. Why go through all the trouble. What type of example are we setting for our future generations. And on another note if you are going into a marriage and asking me to sign a prenup that means you don't plan on staying married to me for long what I call another ex scape clause. Thats should definitely be a red flag right there. Unless you are that person who is only going in to it for the money! What ever happened to marriage for Love not Lust or your feelings because feelings are fickle and always subject to change.

Work Place Friends!

2011-09-19T22:53:00.000-04:00

We all spend the majority of our days at work. During this time it is common for us to meet and interact with people.   So what do you do when your spouse of partner starts to interact or be friends with a person of the opposite sex.  It could be a boss, supervisor, or just fellow line man. Now I know this is unheard of these days, trust is out the window you can't trust anybody and no by no means necessary can you have friends of the opposite sex. Right or wrong?

I find this this to be a very interesting and touchy topic.   Its pretty much to each its own. I have happened to be on both sides of this over the course of my life time. I have been the one to have the friends, I have had my mates obtain friends and cheat etc etc but do you let one instance dictate how you operate and basically shape and mold the rest of your life. Do you want to spend you days obsessing?

My feeling is Trust is one of the single most important things in any relationship. If you are at work of course you have to interact with people, you get to know them there families, whats makes them tick, what they eat and all.    I think its unrealistic for there to not be any interaction with the opposite sex. You have to work with them. This all boils down to how much do you trust your mate, spouse, partner. If someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat. Be it with the person at their job or the one walking down the street. Do you look at everyone cross eyed and as a cheater? Do you let this consume you? I am not saying be naive or just let anything fly and stand by and watch things happen either.

I guess this all boils down to again is trusting people.   I have some really good friends that are my friends now from my husbands work place. He meets them and say hey you need to meet or talk to my wife or I just happen to come for a visit and we wind up in a conversation. Why hide stuff because in darkness and secrecy is where things happen, manifest and become dangerous.   And some things happen in the light right in front of us as well.

We all know our boundaries that we should and should not cross.   Some people go after others even if they are taken for the thrill or what ever. But can we really stop the interaction between opposite sexes at work? NO! No matter how hard you try. What do you we do then? Do we forbid interaction with one another or take on a non caring attitude with people and only concerned about ourselves? I mean we are human we live on human interaction its going to happen I guess if we like it or not. We dictate how we interact with one another and how far any relationship can go.

In Your Skin

2011-05-20T16:04:00.003-04:00

How comfortable are you in your own skin. Like most women we have had children, multiple pregnancies, getting older in age, have a hectic schedule and take care of everybody else except for ourselves. It seems like there are not enough hours in the day to try and eat right, exercise and take care of business.

We all know that we need to take time out for ourselves, have a healthy diet and eat right. So why is it such a struggle. Before we know it we look at ourselves in the mirror and are uncomfortable with what we see. If I could just change this or change that is what we say to ourselves. We have the baby weight that just wouldn't go away. We try and exercise and within two weeks we are tired of it and drop off and year after year we make our news years resolutions and say this year I'm going lose it and be healthy.

So what will it take for us to get healthy. Myself like most have tried and failed and tried and failed and tried again and get so frustrated I just quit when I don't see microwave instant results.   I watch all the doctor shows and try to implement the foods they say and the vitamins and the workouts and the everything and it seems like life just gets in the way.   I like some women am an emotional eater. I just love food. I have a food background and a culinary arts degree so I am just consumed by food.   I eat when I'm stressed, I eat when I'm nervous and I eat when I'm bored and some of us out there can relate. Some of us use other things in place of food to deal with all of these issues.

So I ask myself and you, How comfortable are you in your own skin. Are you scared to get on the scale or look at yourself in the mirror, take our clothes off around our mates or not take pictures because you dislike the way you look or maybe you have a ton of confidence and this does not pertain to you but how healthy are we really. This is not meant to make any one feel worse then they already do or beat them up because I have been on both ends. Healthy and at the right weight and people still said I was fat and over weight and know I'm overweight and just upset with myself.

We have to take back the control that your flesh has over us. We have to push beyond the tiredness, the frustration and the mental games that we play within our own minds. We have to empower our own selves because our families depend on us. How can we take care of our families if we are not around or sick because of the poor choices we have made. I know its not easy, I deal with it everyday. Balancing this that and the other and getting pulled in all different kinds of directions.   But I have to make the right choices for myself because my children are looking and you as the parent control what they eat.   I know a lot of us are on the go all the time and the best thing to do is to grab take out. Good thing is now a days even the fast food places are having healthier alternatives.

We have to start out small because we did not get to the point we are overnight.   We have to take it one step at a time and one day at a time. We have to set goals for ourselves. Find a buddy so there will be some accountability. Make a plan.  I once heard failing to plan is planning to fail. We have to start to chart out every day. Family, alone time, meditation an prayer, exercise our businesses etc.   We have to make it all work and when we start to follow that plan we see that we can fit a lot more in our days and get a lot more done. Write it down, put it on the fridge or on the mirror. Remind yourself daily that you can do this. We invest a lot at times on our outer appearance an neglect out inner appearance. Spiritually and physically. We are starting to break own. We beat ourselves up or just forget about ourselves all together.

So go get your life back literally. Take it one day and one step at a time. The Word of God says we are fearfully an wonderfully made. We are a royal priesthood. So get comfortable in your own skin again.   You are beautiful and never let any one tell you different.

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Get Out Of The Box!

2011-04-04T10:57:00.012-04:00

One of the main reasons why we do not get out of our boxes is because of FEAR. The fear of failure practically dictates to us what we will and will not do. Fear keeps us at times from being all that we can be and trying new things. There is so much that God has equipped us with but we fail to do them and thus staying in our comfort zone in our own little boxes. Fear defined is a verb meaning to be afraid or apprehensive. Now I know we all are apprehensive about some things. Some times that is good and a lot of times that keeps us for going out and challenging ourselves and being the best that we can be. Why are you afraid to try new things? Have you failed at something before, have the wrong mindset and telling yourself you can't do it, have people around you telling you you can't do it. There are a number of things. Now I have met some really nice mommy bloggers and gotten to know some really nice people and gotten a lot of tips from a lot of mommy bloggers out there who have gotten out of their boxes and are making a difference. Be it in reviewing, giving info about having babies, or any number of things. They are not saying starting out has been an easy ride but they stuck with it and the outcome has been great. I can tell you starting your own business or trying something new will definitely get you out of your box and having you try different things you never thought you could do like approach strangers and just strike up general conversation. I was so in my own world at one point and now since I have been home with my children for 2 years I appreciate the the time I get to spend with them and the time I get to go out and meet mommies that are just like myself. I can tell you why I was so afraid. FAILURE. It is real. This has kept me from doing so many different things. I have let years go by saying I can't do that and knowing I had a purpose and wondering what that was. The American dream has been dictated saying go to school, get an education, get a job, by a house, have a few kids and that's it. Well what about the in between like do something you love even though it might not pay you the big bucks or how about working for yourself if you are going to work 10 to 15 hours a day. These days and ages not even the government is secure. Look at the possible closures. Another thing that almost had me quit was the people around me. The people closet to you like family and friends your inner circle who you think should support you and don't. Now this is not always the case and some people have support and are supportive but I have found for myself that the people who don't even know you are the ones that support you the most. I have learned to not let things affect me so deeply any more and keep on pressing. Some people subconsciously want you to fail, or consciously at times want you to fail because you are out pursuing your goals and that was something that they never did. Don't let those people keep you down. Even when it looks impossible it is very much possible. So I say to you what is it that you have been wanting to do. Write a book, start a business, go back to school, learn a foreign language, Go for it. Get out of your box because you have so much to offer. Use the small setbacks and the negativity to keep you going. STOP BY AND VISIT MY WEBSITE: www.5linx.net/TuckerTeam

You be the Judge!

2011-03-14T23:09:00.005-04:00

I think that two of my greatest accomplishments are being a mother and a wife. I have learned a lot in the past three years of being a mother. Although I have not been a mom long having kids has taught me so much. I'm sure you all can relate it's nothing we would not do for our children. So over the last few years I have wondered this, do we over compensate for our children or is it just making sure that your children have the best of everything?

Now As I look back over my child hood, I can't and won't complain. I think that my parents did the best that they could with that they had. So what we perceive to had had or the lack of do we make up for when raising our children. I see a lot of parents just spend and spend and spend on there kids and some do it to make up for the lack of parenting, others do it because they are reliving there lives through there children and some just can't say no.

I know these days and times we are living in are so very different from when we were growing up. Now a days its like kids have a sense of entitlement like you owe them something. Now I am a firm believer if your child is doing well they should reap the benefits and be rewarded but I do not agree in rewarding wrong behavior. So I ask myself because I am guilty of just over doing it for my children at times as well even though they are little, is it being a good parent, or over compensating for things I wish I had or would have liked to do or have as a child.

So you be the judge. Are you guilty of being an over compensator? Do you think it's over compensating. For example, How many times do I need to take my child to the Circus. Every year when they come in town. Really? It's like because you may missed out on so much as a child and you enjoy it, you just take your child along for the ride and take it to a whole new level. Do you buy gifts for your child to make up for the lack of time you are able to spend with them because the demands of a job etc. Now love is an action and you do show it by giving tangible items but you also show it by sending time with your child. getting to know them and being there for them. I think that the quantity of time will out weigh the quality of any gift any time. Of course your kids are just that kids and they need to experience all that being a child is, but I also think that some of us are still Toys R us kids! I don't want to grow up do you? Is that so bad.

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To Blessed to Be Stressed!

2011-02-10T01:10:00.004-05:00

Hello Everyone! I know it has been a long while since I have blogged and I apologize. It just seems like there is never enough time in the day to do all the task that you want to accomplish and then when you look up days if not months have passed you by. You say oh I'll do it tomorrow and then tomorrow turns into next week and next week turns into next month and so on and so forth. Over the course of the last few months I have been super busy, trying to build my home based business and raise 3 toddlers all under the age of 3. As some of my followers who are also WAHM know that this can be a challenging task at times. The balancing act!

I have had a lot of time to reflect in the last few months even though I have been super busy. Had some ups and some downs but I still kept keeping on and we must do that. Sometimes I know we just want to have a Calgon take me away moment and just curl up in a ball and close ourselves off to the outside world. And if you have never been down that road the GOD bless you. When you are just caught up you just have to take a moment and pause and regroup. I have been home with my twins for the last 18 months and although I love them dearly I almost started to forget what the outside world was like. So I started taking them to different malls since it is so cold outside to the indoor playgrounds and let them run out all of that energy they have inside and I can get a chance to relax and meet some other mommies like me.

We mommies know we need some good girl friends that can relate to the struggles and the hardships that we go through and you also just need to get out and meet new people and network. Good girlfriends are hard to come by. I lost a very dear friend of mine last year and I just envy some of the other relationships I see around me because I am one of those people who am guarded and don't let a lot of people in but how many of us know that the word says "a man that has friends must show himself friendly." I am sure some of us have been down that road where some one says they are our friend and then you can't trust them, they let you down or they do something crazy or you have that one sided friendship where you are the one putting in all of the effort calling and catching up but how many of us know that any relationship is a two way street. They all have to be worked on and I guess it all depends on how much the other person or the parties involved treasure the relationship and friendship.

I might seem like I am all over the place in this edition but I have so much to talk about. I am not going to let it all out in this one. Trust me there will be some pretty exciting blogs coming. I just have to learn to jot things down when the ideas and the things I want to share start to come because we all know with our everyday grind we forget a lot. I had to learn these past few months that I am to Blessed to be Stressed. And you ladies out there are too. Our lives become routine where we take care of everybody else and that's all good but we MUST take some time out for ourselves.

One of the things that I am still learning to not take personally, are peoples actions. I've learned a long time ago that you have to learn to forgive, forget and move forward. Otherwise you give those people control over you. It takes to much energy to keep dwelling on something. When I started my business this is something I had to practice a lot of. People will try to keep you from accomplishing your goals, try to be dream stealers and killers or just no matter what, won't help you and support you in your endeavors and most of these are the people that are closet to you. I just don't understand it, but then when those same people are in need they forget and want you to come running to there aide. I know every one is not like this but it is a wide population of them out there. I never thought I would see the day when we as people don't want to support, uplift and encourage one another. It's just sad. I know there are some of you out there that can totally relate to what I am saying. If any of you ladies have a home based or other business out there please leave me you link or website and I will see what I can do to help to support your business. We all need each other. Like the song writer says I need you, you need me, we are all a part of Gods Body. Well until next time ladies. Be Blessed and be a Blessing! You can check me out at my link below!

www.5linx.net/TuckerTeam

IS CUSTOMER SERVICE DEAD

2010-09-20T14:27:00.003-04:00

In a day and age where evrything is customer driven the question that alwasy lingers is, IS CUSTOMER SERVICE DEAD? I say to you yes. Customer Service is a pet peeve of mine since I have only worked in customer service all of my life and the way people are treated especially when you are spending your money is apalling.

What happened to the days when the customer was always right and saying things like mam and sir? That died a long time ago and these days even the people behind the counter don't care how they treat there employees in front of you and they do and say just about anything.

I have had on many many occasions lately the worst customer service imaginable. I have had reps tell me I was wrong and not asking the right questions after I had called and e-mailed several times, then this same rep proceeded to argue with me over the phone and raise her voice with me over this phone call and of course the supervisor is never available. I went to a laundry mat recently and of course you look in the washers before you put your clothes in there but you cannot catch the finite things with the naked eye. I put my white clothes in this machine and they came out looking black. Now thats a problem, so I go and talk to the manager to see if they could put the wash on again so I can rewash my clothes and she told me no. I am not worth keeping as a customer over $1.50, but thats how people run there establishments these days. Then on this same day I went to the neighborhood fast food restaraunt KFC and the girl behind the counter made a simple mistake and ok I understand it happens to us all, but she called the manager for help and he tore her down and called her stupid and I never want to see you make this mistake again and so on and so forth all while I, the customer am standing right in front of you. Come on people.

You get left on hold for a half hour or more, then get transferred five to ten times, then you e-mail and get no responses, your money gets thrown back at you when you pay or when you go to the store and you have a cart full of groceries GIANT the little young people behind the counter act as if they don't want to do there job that they get paid for and they all huffing and puffing while ringing up your groceries. Or GIANT the clerks say stuff to you when you complain to a manager like you just had to get your way, what a way to get your way. Now if I punch you in the face for talking to me like that would I be wrong? But violence never solves anything and I'm not that type of person but I know we have all felt that way. Now I can go on and on but the lack of care and concern you get these days is crazy. People these days just don't care, from when they come to your house to fix or deliver something to when you go and get your car fixed people are just rude and nasty and it makes me think that they were not taught proper manners or they just dont care to use them. The people these days curse and swear at you and do and say just about anything. You don't know who you are dealing with. I could be your boss, or know your boss, get you fired or be one of those secret shopper people you don't know who I am when I come around and I know this is not all the people but it is a fair share and no one seems to be able to ever help you and the one thing I hate the most is when people can't help you because thats not there job. Give me a break.

I have seen it all, from UPS to the chinese carry out and why does it seem like you have to go off on people or write letters and complain before you can get any results and even then thats not guaranteed and all they can say is I'm sorry. I know you are but what are you going to do for me as a consumer to make me feel better to want to keep doing business with you? Because we as the consumer have the power we can always take our money else where. If you take care of your customers the little things and mistakes wont matter but the thing is people wont take care of there customers. Something has to change.

CONGRATS AND THANKS TO ALL THAT ENTERED AND VISITED MY SITES. I AM STILL DOING PRMOTIONS AND GIVEAWAYS SO PLEASE SEE BELOW AS TO HOW YOU CAN ENTER!!

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CONTEST AND GIVEAWAYS!!!!!!

2010-08-17T16:34:00.004-04:00

HELLO EVERYBODY!!! I THOUGHT I WOULD DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THIS MONTH AND HAVE SOME CONTEST AND GIVEAWAYS!!!!! PLEASE SEE BELOW AS TO HOW YOU CAN ENTER AND QUALIFY!!!

#1
Visit my website at www.5linx.net/ADAGroup and when you sign up for any service you will be entered to win one of two prizes!! Ends 9/11/10
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#2
Visit my website at www.5linx.net/ADAGroup and if you sign up to become an Independent Rep you will automatically be entered to win the initial rep start up price of $249!! Ends 9/1/10

#3
Visit www.ardysslife.com/houseoftucker.com and when you spend more than $50 you will be entered to win a **Body Magic** Valued at $150. Ends 9/11/10

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THAT MEMBER

2010-07-22T11:03:00.000-04:00

One of the deadliest members of our body that we use every day is the tongue. This member that the Bible says cannot be tamed. What we use to eat with but what we also use to either speak life or death with.

Sometimes we are not even aware what we are speaking out of our mouths. We just get caught up in the moment and in the conversation and all types of things stat to come out of our mouths. But the one thing that I have noticed is the death that a lot of us speak over our marriages.

In a marriage we are one. One unit. Ask yourself this question? Would I speak ill about myself. Well you are if you are referring to your spouse. Our spouses are reflections of who we are as well. Your spouse is the one that we said in good times in bad times til death do us part. The one we love the most. Then why is it that we say and do things that we know will hurt the person we say we love and are going to spend the rest of our lives with? Although there are times we need to get good Godly counseling from another woman and you may want to talk to someone about some things that are going on and that’s fine but what I am talking about is openly an intentionally and on a regular just tearing down your spouse while he or she is there and while he or she is not there.

Also this member is what causes a lot of chaos and confusion. Look, we are grown adults. Why is it that people behave like we are still in high school with the petty he say she say. The Bible says if you have an aught with your brother or sister then go to them. This is a way we can keep the devil OUT! But that’s easier said than done. We would rather go to this person and say what that person done did and that person turns around and goes and tells another person and so on and so forth.

My momma always told me if you don’t have anything nice to say than don’t say nothing at all. Translated, if you can’t say something positive and speak life in that’s person’s life instead of death then hush your mouth. So many things get started by what some one supposedly said. That’s why we need to be quick to listen and SLOW to speak. We also need to be careful about what we say out of our mouths because SATAN is the prince of the power of the airways. You can have all the right intentions but you cannot determine how someone will interpret what you say.

Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. What are you speaking today?

Work It out!

2010-06-21T12:32:00.002-04:00

Hey there everybody. Just wanted to talk about what so many people have been asking me. People ask me all the time how do I do it. Three kids 2 and under which includes a set of twins, working, home making, church work and attending, building a business etc. and to tell you the truth only by the grace of God and the strength he gives me everyday and the determination, drive and the thought of making my children’s lives better.

I have pondered so many times and asked GOD what is the plan you have for me and my life and what is it that I am supposed to be doing. A lot of things I wanted to do I have not because of what, FEAR. The fear of failure and rejection and doubt and discouragement that plagues so many of us. Often times we wonder if we are good enough, the what ifs and when it does not work out the first time we just give up and never try again. A lot of times things take perseverance and determination and a will to not give up.

Sure everyone has a job, kids, a husband, aging parents, this, that, the other and the list and day goes on and on. Where do you find the time? And in between you want to get the me time so you don't go crazy. The thing is you have to make it all work. Prioritize. And some things unintentionally will fall by the waste side until you can pick them up again. Don't feel bad and don't feel defeated.

I know a lot of people make promises of help when you need it and sometimes its not there. Don't get mad with the people because they are just people and they get wrapped up in there everyday lives as well. Sometimes you feel like the people around you can't really relate to what you are thinking or going through. The person we need to lean on is Jesus because he will never leave us or forsake us and he may not be there when we need him but he always shows up right on time and I am a believer in that. Everyday will not be sunny or bright but everyday new mercies we see and a new chance we get to try it again and get it right. Take it all to Jesus in prayer. It is still good to have those good girlfriends you can talk to and lean on and get good Godly counsel from. Not the ones who will just go along to get along but the ones that will tell you the truth when you miss the mark and where you need to step it up at.

Just keep pressing on. The race is not given to the fast or the swift but the one that endures to the end. Don't give up on your dreams no matter how old chronologically you are. It's never too late to make a new beginning. Don't have regrets. Live, Love, Laugh and most importantly live your life to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised. What kind of legacy will you leave to your children and grandchildren? Take care of you and your family. And the most important thing is to take care of you. It's so easy to forget your own health and needs when we are busy taking care of everyone else.

SUPER MOM

2010-05-29T20:19:00.000-04:00

As we just not to long ago celebrated a holiday that is set aside especially for us, I just wanted to look back and thank God for MOMS all over the world and encourage us because we all need that from time to time. This is a tough job but it also brings so much joy and I can say that this is the most rewarding and fulfilling job I have ever had. As a mom we wear so many hats. We are the house keeper, the tutor, the chef, the chauffer, the counselor, the support team, the doctor and the nurse the any and everything our children needs.

A mother besides what any one else says is the highest office in the land. There are no manuals to teach us how to be a mother, we just do. Have you ever looked back and thought about the day you had your first child? Me I was scared to death and saying to myself ok what now. But when you got that baby home it just all came to you. We are internally built with all the qualities and the instincts needed to handle the task of mother hood. God will never give us a position and not equip us to handle it.

We as mothers are given the job to teach and train our children. Nothing new that I am telling you all but there are so many things we teach our kids, both good and bad. We have to be careful about what we expose our kids to too early before they are able to handle it. We are the first teachers, to teach our children godly character and traits, how we teach them we teach by example. I never got when I was growing up the do ad I say and not as I do because a lot of things I should not have tried or language I had spoken was learned from what I saw both in and out of the home.

We also train our children. The word says “train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they should not depart from it”. I am a firm believer in this. They will grow up and make there own decisions and choices both good and bad but they will also revert back to what they were taught and the type of parenting they received as a child. Be wide eyed be watchful. We as mothers have to keep our eyes open over the affairs of our children. But we have to let them be children as well.

We all wish for perfect children. Unfortunately they do not exist. We spend there whole lives from the womb teaching them right from wrong. As well as spending there whole lives showing them how much we love them. It’s not always enough to say they just know I love them, of course they do, but Love is an action word and we have to also show them. I heard some one say they wish they could have heard there mother tell them how much hey loved them before she died. Wow, will your children be guilty of this. We have to shower our children with affection. Just like we long to hear our spouses tell us they love us so do our children long to hear those words. Tell them often, everyday if you can because we never know what day will be our last. If we show our children more affection then they will not seek unhealthy love in other places.

As mothers we are SUPEREWOMAN. We are every woman hear us roar. I know you have those days of feeling unappreciated, burnt out and feeling like everything you do is not good enough or in vain. Trust me I never understood what my parents were trying to tell me and the hardships of being a mother until I became one myself. As a mother I say use the four P’s. We have to be Prayerful for ourselves and our families, pray without ceasing. We have to be Passionate to be strong in our feelings and love for God. We have to be Patient. We have to endure the pain and the trials that will come without complaining. And remember the office of a mother is Priceless. Children are our gift from God. Its not more rewarding them looking at my children sleep, looking at there bay pictures or getting that little pat on the leg saying ma ma. Oh I just want to squeeze them and never let go. No one will ever understand the bond of mothers and there children. Although a father’s role is equally important the mothers are the makers for the home, the birthers, and the carriers of life. I am so happy to be a MOM.

Finish What You Started

2010-04-07T00:35:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone. First I would like to apologize for my faithful followers. I have been away for a while and have not written. Why because I just let life and the every day get the best of me. You know really there is no excuse. I need to become one of those people who finish what they start.

I started this blog because I was on fire. I knew I had something to share and I knew that there were people out there just like me. I know a lot of times you can feel like you are on an island all by yourself and no one understands. But there are others who know exactly where you are coming from and can relate but the question is where are they? It seems like why can’t you ever find that someone when you need them or find that one person just to listen and to give you some good Godly counseling when you need it.

I know I am not the only person who has a habit of not finishing what I start. I just look back over my life and I have had so many jobs I can do a little bit of everything. But that comes with not finishing what I started. I am one of those people who likes a challenge and gets bored quick with the same ole routine or I find what ever I am doing to not be as interesting any more or I become complacent or I get what I am doing down pat that it just becomes second thought.

At some point in your life you just get to that point where the light bulb finally goes off and you have that uh huh moment, that epiphany. Let me tell you that comes with a lot of self evaluation. At first I wanted to blame it on being a mother of three under the age of two which includes a set of twins. That can have it own set of challenges and being a mom is a 24 hour a day job. You don’t get a mulligan or a do over so you have to get it right the first time. Being a mother is the single most hardest thing I have ever done in my life. And you have those moments often when you just want Calgon to come and take you away, but it never happens.

Soon you get so distracted when weeks turn into months and months turn into years and you look back and wonder where the time has gone. I know there are several things that I still want to do with my life and I know I have time because I am still fairly young but I have to learn to keep my hand to plow and finish what I started. I know a lot of times and it’s just not me, we are scared of failure and rejection. When something seems to not go right or gets a little tough instead of sticking it out we just give up and move on to the next thing. That’s kind of how a lot of people are in relationships. When the going gets tough we get going. What happened to if at first you don’t succeed try and try again. That’s how we have so many inventions today. I don’t think anybody ever got what they were working towards right on the first try.

With life come those ups, downs, hardships, trials and obstacles but eventually we do have a victory. You may wait so long that it seems like for ever and you wonder when is your victory or breakthrough ever going to come. Trust me it will. Look back and think. Are there things that you have started and not finished, things that you have put down, things that you are afraid of trying? Look you only get one life. Everything may not work out the first time and there will be some failure but don’t let it get you down. Don’t stop, don’t give up, step out on faith. Finish what you started. Remember the race was not given to the fast or the swift but the one who endured to the end.

Eros Love

2010-02-23T00:35:00.002-05:00

As we have just celebrated what is known as Valentines Day, why is it that we want to recognize love and intimacy on a specific day of the year and not recognize the love that we share with our mates all year? As a means of expression of Love on Valentines Day in most cases the act of making love takes place. Of course we all want to feel extra special on that day but true love takes work every day of the year. There are several different types of love. We should have all the different types of love in a relationship with our spouses. Philos, Agape and most importantly Eros are all types of Love. Eros love is passionate love with sensual desire and longing and is where we get our word erotic. As we know we should not have sex outside of marriage, sex or the act of love making is now perverted in most cases and young ladies and a lot of older women as well are giving there bodies to someone who may never be your husband. We are completely inundated with sex in our society and Satan is doing this to keep our carnal sexual appetites awake.

Sexual purity can not be obtained outside of marriage. A marriage bed is undefiled. God gave this as a gift of enjoyment between a husband and a wife but in a lot of cases women use this as a weapon inside of there marriage. When we do this on either side, we set the other person up for sexual temptation which is why a lot of people either turn to the internet, porn, adultery etc or as they say I can satisfy myself and I am not cheating, but this is a sin and sex in your head erodes sex in the bed. Those of us who use sex as a weapon will sustain self inflicted wounds. You can train your husbands not to want you, but you can't train them not to want.

Satan does everything he can to cause division in a marriage and in most cases he uses intimacy as one of his biggest avenues. Men want to be there wives everything and when we deprive them of intimacy this erodes there self esteem. Now you can be doing all of this and a man will still go outside of there marriage but in every case you should pray about all areas of your marriage including this one.

We have been so perverted in our society using sex until it can become a complete turn off and you are no longer interested in it and in a lot of cases it can be about an addiction rather than the affection. Sex or making love with your husband should not be and is not disgusting, should not be boring or uninteresting and it does not have to be perverse to work. Men are visual. We should get ready for them just like we get ready for everything else. Set the atmosphere.

Most marriages are destroyed for romance and finance. When we get married your body becomes his body and likewise his body becomes your body so we should never be turning the other person down. In marriage it is self sacrifice. Put aside your needs to meet his needs, we have the favor of God on our side when performed in the confines of marriage. Men want to feel and be desired just as well. Be affectionate to him, stroke his ego, and be loving and kind. Intimacy does not just start once you get in the bedroom and remember God purposely created sex not only for reproduction but also for enjoyment in the confides of marriage.

A NEW BEGINNING!

2010-01-15T21:17:00.001-05:00

It’s a new year and with that comes new beginnings. Some people make resolutions or promises to them selves that they may or may not keep. A new year brings about promise and hope for the future. You forget all the good things and yes all of the bad thing that have happened over the past 365 days and make an effort to make the next 365 days even better.

Why wait until the end of the year to make a new beginning. You can turn your life around at any time and that can be your new beginning. When you become new in Christ old things are passed away and behold are things become new. That can happen at any time but since this is a new year, we are bound to make new beginnings, whether it is relationships, our health, our values, friends or even family.

Over the course of the New Year anything is bound to happen. How and what will you do to get over or get through trials, tribulations or even adversary when it comes. We are human. We live, we learn and we love. We lose things like friends, family, jobs, money and the list can go on and on and we can gain all these things as well. Why is this, because its life. Have you sat back and reflected on this past year. Or was it that kind of year that you quickly want to forget. We should reflect. We should not hold on to past things, hurts or pains and move forward into the present. And besides everything is a learning experience and mistakes not learned from are destined to be repeated. How can we make things better for the future?

We can not start a new beginning before we first deal with self. Evaluate yourself. Stop blaming everyone else and take a long look in the mirror at you. Do you want to lose some weight? Fine, but make sure you are doing it for you and so you can live a longer life since there are so many diseases that we face these days being overweight or not in good health. We can combat disease by what we feed our bodies being legal like food or illegal like substances. We want to also make our inner bodies just as attractive as our outer. We spend a lot of time perfecting the outer man and neglect the inner man. Go get a makeover both physically and mentally. You owe it to yourself.

How can we make a new beginning for Christ? I am glad you asked. For some of us, we have lost that fire and that zeal that was once in us for the Lord. We get complacent and comfortable and soon we are doing the bare minimum to get by. We can make a new beginning by applying ourselves more. Are you working in the ministry, helping others, trying to make your church or community a better place and maybe you are and you say well how is that making a new beginning. The answer is, do more. Besides we are not working unto man we are working unto the lord. Pray and ask the Lord to lead you into what he would have you to do. Maybe what you have been doing was not your calling and you were just keeping yourself busy. Maybe the lord has given you something he wants you to do that you still have not doe yet. Try it. Step out on faith and step out of your comfort zone. Life is trial and error.

How can I make a new beginning at work? Lighten up. Smile more. And be nice to those people who are trying to make your life miserable. Besides even while you are at your job you are still working unto the Lord. You don’t want to take that extra stress on and take it home with you besides this is a new year. Leave all those old things in the past. Try to make every day a good day. People feed off of you and your attitude. Will you make the environment positive or negative? You give people the power over you when you chose to be mad or upset or act out of character. Of course they will try and push those buttons but you should never lose your cool or as they say never let them see you sweat.

How can I make a new beginning with my family? The answer is spend more time with them. Love is an action verb. If you never show them you love them then how will they know and it’s a good thing to tell them once in a while as well. Again attitude is the key. Tone, how and what you say can either diffuse a situation or add to it. Make this a better year for you and your family. I know it’s a recession but try to go some where to a museum or something. Have that quality time with your spouse and your children. A marriage is destroyed basically for two reasons, romance and finance and once the family is destroyed then the children will follow. Spice up your marriage again. Start all over. Begin dating each other again. This is a new year, time for a new beginning. Leave what happened in the past in the past.

A new year, a new beginning and new opportunities await us. With each day a brand new set of mercies we see. Learn to forgive, forget and move forward.

Trust! Do you have it?

2009-12-16T22:55:00.002-05:00

Trust. It means so many things to so many different people yet it all comes down to the same thing. Do you trust people? Do you trust yourself? Do you find it hard or easy to trust? What is trust? Do you trust your mate, your spouse, or your children? How can you get trust back once it is violated? All relevant questions. You may think you trust when you really don’t or you have been violated so many times that you find it hard to trust any one any more. Is that fair to them? Is that fair to yourself? Trust is an assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something; one in which confidence is placed.

We trust when we go to work that at the end of two weeks we will get a pay check right? Why is it so easy to trust that but we don’t even trust the people that we sit next to every day. Maybe because we as imperfect people tend to let others down who have these expectations of us. The only one who can never let us down is Jesus. He said he will never leave us or forsake us.

We as women we have a hard time trusting other women. This may be because we have been down a road that we have been scared so many times and you don’t want to open up for fear people may use things against you. Well can’t a male do the same thing? We as women go off of our emotions and we say you can do it to me once but I will never put myself in a position for that to happen to me again. This makes us close ourselves off. But lets be real. We look at other women as a threat. Maybe you think she is prettier than you or is more successful than you or whatever the situation maybe or you say its something about her I just don’t like and you look at most women cross eyed because you think they are after your man. This is not necessarily false all of the time but we can not close our selves off to one another because the adversary knows that there are strength in numbers and that is exactly what he wants us to do. And not everyone is after your man. We are the home makers and we draw strength one from another. The Word says in the multitude of counsel there is safety. How can we get the counsel we need when we don’t even want to let people in.

This is why we have a hard time trusting our mates. We see where so many people get burned or you have had that happened to you to where the least little thing you are suspect of. A lot of times you have every right to be and people do give us a reason to not trust them. Now if you have caught your mate or significant other being untruthful or lying or with someone else that is one thing but you have to give everyone the benefit of the doubt because not everyone is a liar and is looking to get over on you. When we get married we trust that the other person has our best interest at heart. You cannot spend your entire relationship looking over your shoulder or being skeptical about everything because that will only make you crazy.

How do you know you have trust issues. Do you find yourselves constantly looking through the other persons things? Not saying we can never look because in a relationship everything should be open and honest. Do you find yourself constantly questioning there every move? Do you find yourself constantly making yourself crazy trying to keep up with them. Or maybe you have a hard time trusting them because you know what you did, what you are doing or what you are capable of. This is why it is so important that we are on the same page as our mates. The Bible says how can two walk together except they agree. When you are on the same page and you know your mate has a real fear of the Lord than it is easy to trust. Look at it this way the Lord trust us enough to bring all of out tithes in the storehouse unlike the government when they just take the money out your check off of the top.

How do you get trust back once it is violated? Can you ever get it back? This is one of the hardest things to ever get back. We don’t want to say you will never trust someone or something again because we are called to forgive everyone seventy times seventy times in a day. But this will take a lot of effort and time and the person who violated it has to understand that and respect that. But it can be restored eventually. But who’s to say you are wrong if you can never fully trust that person again. With every choice there is a consequence that’s why we have to think before we act. If you were a thief or did an unthinkable crime or cheated you may never be able to get this back. Those are choices that you have to live with. Trust and forgiveness are two separate things although they work hand in hand.

The next question is do your trust the Lord with your whole heart? The Bible tells us to trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto our own understanding and in all our ways acknowledge him and He shall direct our paths. This is sometimes easier said than done. A lot of times we trust in our own abilities, intelligence, strength and charisma to get us through or trials, challenges and to fix what ever problems that may arise or to get us those things that we want or desire. It is so easy to say we trust in God but do we really? When the going gets tough do we try to fix things on our own or do we give what we are facing over to the Lord and trust that he will fix it. When we find ourselves down to our last dime and we don’t know how we are going to pay our bills or eat do we trust God enough to provide for us like his word says he will? We should be able to trust God with everything. From our relationships, to our money, to our children and our jobs. Our whole lives. We should likewise be able to trust our spouses with everything as well.

Trust is the basis of any relationship. If you have no trust than how do you have a relationship. Once this is broken you may never get it back that’s why you have to do whatever it takes to never violate it in this first place.

What Is A Successful Marriage?

2009-11-14T22:25:00.000-05:00

What is a successful marriage? Marriage defined by Merriam Webster is the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband and wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. In Malachi it says that it is a holy covenant before God.

A successful marriage is defined by what each individual couple’s perspective is on this. It could be any level of things from the mutual respect, intimacy, no one leaving the other, still living in the same house, not divorced or whatever it may be. How do you define this?

One of the first things you have to look at or ask yourself is why did I or why do you get married? Do you get married for physical pleasures, selfish reasons to be one with the other person, because you are lonely, you were forced to, your biological clock was ticking, for the sake of the kids, what is it or was it? A lot of people get married for a lot of different reasons and motives and a lot of time they are not the right reasons. A lot of people go into this seeking a way out. If he/she wrongs me I can just get out. That’s why it is important to know the person that you are marrying before you go into it and to go into it for the long haul. Most vows include the phrase in good times and in bad times, in sickness and in health until death do us part. That’s why it’s important to seek Godly counseling and not just say I’m going into this because of feelings, because feelings are fickle and they tend to change.

Some say they have changed meaning the person once we got married. Well everyone does. Are you the same person that you were five, ten even fifteen years ago? During this time life happens and you either roll with the punches or get swallowed up by life’s trials, tribulations, circumstances and situations. This in turn can effect, affect or infect your marriage.

We have to know our roles in marriage. The bible told the men dwell with them according to knowledge and to love your wife as Christ loved the Church. He told the women to Reverence meaning respect your husbands. Now why did he just not tell both parties to do this equally towards one another, because God knew that each party needed something different to sustain them. He knew to men, Love is viewed as respect and one of the worse things you can do is disrespect a man and make him feel like he is worthless or nothing. To a woman, we are emotional and we need to be showed loved and have that time spent with us. The man needs to give his all for us. Be willing to die for his family. These things may seem simple to some or hard to others and can be attained the more you strengthen your own personal relationship with Jesus Christ. NO marriage goes without problems, trials, tribulations and issues. It all depends on how you deal with those issues when they arise. Marriage is oneness and a whole lot of work. You have to look at your communication, love, respect, care, trust and support of one another. Are you helping each other to grow or are you hindering that person’s growth? Are you supportive with there dreams, are you sensitive to there needs.

Women we were made to be help meets for our husbands. They were put on the earth first. God said it is not good for man to be alone and I will make him a help meet. We were made to come along side and support him. Be there help meet. Not to usurp there authority or try to take there roles. Even tho the word says we will have a desire to since that was one of the curses and we are sometimes left to take on those roles. You may have or think you have a successful marriage and that is great. I would liken a marriage to a fruit tree. What kind of fruit is your tree yielding? Is it good or bad? Do you verbally, mentally or physically abuse the other or are being abused? Now we can be angry but the Word says sin not. Do you love unconditionally your spouse? Or is it on a conditional basis and what you are benefiting from the relationship or the lack there of. You may say well I have been married 10, 20 even 30 years that has to be successful. Is your marriage flourishing? Are you growing? Do you love them like the first day you met? Are you happy, or are you just existing? Is this success?

Success defined is a favorable or desired outcome. There are two major reasons why people split, romance and finance. Some say they are splitting because of irreconcilable differences. What is that. Ok you have grown apart over the years. Why because of life. You spend majority of your time taking care of your children, going to work and your own personal activities or hobbies. Where is the time for your mate? Or maybe you are home centered and trying to do all of these things. Do you all talk, do you make the time to go out, spend any time together? Has your marriage become one sided? Have you become selfish and it has become all about you when you all are one. Could this be contributing to your problems? Now a marriage does take two people. The responsibility of making it work does not solely rely on one person. Both parties have to be willing and contributing to making this work. Sometimes we are doing our part and people are taking advantage of us but hang in there, don’t give up. Pray about it. It’s easy to become complacent which a lot of times happens to all of us, and a lot of times we say oh well if they’re not thinking about it then neither am I. We have to make sure we don’t find ourselves putting not putting our best feet forward.

You are always getting to know the other person the same way we are always growing as individuals, things are constantly changing. You make your marriage what you want it to be. A successful marriage….do you have one, are you working towards one, to me it’s a work in progress.

Finding The Balance Between Your Children And Your Husband

2009-11-06T14:34:00.000-05:00

If you are married and have children the question probably has ran across your mind more than once or twice. How do I find the balance between my husband and my children? If you are a working or stay at home mom the challenges and frustrations of home and raising your family is always there. There are just not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything. The fact of the matter is, even if we had more time in the day there still would not be enough time because we would just fill it with doing something else. So what do I do?

There are just so many things that a woman, wife, and mother are responsible for. We think the main and most important is taking care of our children in fact we would jump off a bridge for them and this is an important role but the main role is making sure that your husband is taken are of. The marriage was the first thing that God ordained long before Adam and Eve had children. They were alone just the two of them and GOD. We were given to be a help meet to our husbands which in turns makes us the home makers. So the question still is what do I do?

You have been to work all day too or have been at home dealing with the children all the issues, Dr appointments, homework, laundry and the list goes on and on and on top of that you have to have dinner ready for him when he comes and you are exhausted and the last thing you want to do is be bothered with him even remotely asking or suggesting being intimate. Yea right. Lots of time you or he are either asleep before the other comes to bed. You rarely have time to talk because when you both get home you are still busy doing things and stuff. Your husband might sit down in front of the TV, watch sports, play video games and that’s the most of it and then tomorrow it’s the same thing all over again. Sooner or later you’ll wake up and it’s a year two three or five years later and you all are drifting apart because you have not taken the time to invest in each other.

A marriage like everything else is work. It is the most rewarding thing outside of having children. The Bible says it was not good for man to be alone that’s why he created the woman. And with that there was fulfillment. Remember you took those vows in good times and in bad times till death do you part. A lot of times we overlook those vows which causes divorce, adultery and rift in the family. If the parents are not happy the children can’t be happy. And the children wind up paying the price for it. Adultery is interesting why because you go outside your marriage seeking what you should be getting from your marriage. This also causes tension and arguments and soon you are at each other throats. Where is the love that you had that caused you to get married in the first place? What happened to the dates, the wooing, the surprises, the trips etc. does that all disappear just because you have kids now? Certainly not, well it should not but it happens. The parents are the basis of the family besides God. If they are at odds in the home there cannot be peace.

Love is an action a verb. How do we know someone loves us if they don’t show it? This happens in marriage when we just become use to each other. We become complacent and expect the other one knows how we feel. It has to be time spent, actions. You know that phrase actions speak louder than words.

We have to learn to become interested in what our spouses are interested in likewise it has to be that on both sides. Just one idea to spend time together. Build anticipation and enthusiasm. There are countless forms of communication these days. Send them a text an e-mail or something just saying I’m thinking about you etc. Get back to the dating of your mate. We did not date to marry we married to date. Go to the movies, out to dinner make that once or twice a month date night. Make a schedule if you have to so you can be intimate. You need this. Go away for a weekend just you two. Get a baby sitter for them kids. There is nothing wrong with that. There are millions of ways to spend that time together without spending money. After you put the kids to bed curl up on the sofa together and watch a movie. Sacrifice that sleep for the sake of your marriage. Schedule it, schedule it, schedule it, if you have to. I can’t stress enough you have to make time for each other. It’s sad to say a lot of times if you won’t somebody else will. You have to make time in your day like you make time for everything else like your job, talking on the phone or doing something for yourself. Now I know there are some jobs you have to bring your work home sometimes. Not all the time. Leave the work at work. Home is suppose to be your peace. Your place of comfort.

This is not to say we ignore our kids or give any thing less to them because we are there first form of learning and we are helping to mold and shape them to be productive people in society. They need our attention our ears to listen to them our support with things they are going though. They need us. But your spouse needs you to. They also learn from us as to how they should in turn treat there spouses when they grow up by watching our example. The question is what example are you being? Will they learn to be loving or abusive mentally and physically? What type of person will they choose to be with from there examples YOU.

There can be balance for everything. You have to make it work for you. You can’t sit back and say what the other person is or is not doing. You have to do your part. Remember that which you invest in you value more.

The Demands, Frustrations & Guilt of a Working Mommy

2009-10-27T07:48:00.000-04:00

There are some things we don’t get to do over in life and one of them is being a parent. If you decide to be a stay at home mom or a working mom is all a personal choice. These days society has made it that you cannot survive if you have a family off a one person income which thus leaves you to put you child in daycare, get a nanny etc and let some one else fill the gap and help raise you child. And that to can be expensive. The question sometimes is can we trust these people that watch and take care of our children? Besides no one can care for our children the way we can. That’s where the frustration comes in. You want to be at home with your child but at the same time you need to money to take care of them. So what do you do? How did they do it back in the day with all those kids and so few resources? Well most of them trusted God to be there provider. He is the source and everything else is a resource. So why can’t we trust it now? Everything is expensive and bottom line we always want bigger, better MORE.

There are a lot of demands on a working mom besides we are the home makers. Our ole was to be home centered first but some how we got off of that. Yes you can have a family and a job and be every woman but you should not give more to your job than you give to your home bottom line. Something always seems to lack and unfortunately its normally home. A job can come and go but your family, and kids will always be there. You go to work, your second job and then come home and then go to your first job and really when you are at work you still are on your first job because being a mom is a 24 hour job. Will they call you and tell you your child is sick, you call and make appointments, you do everything because this child is depending on your for everything. So the demand of home is high, the demand of your job is high, now you getting frustrated. You are snappy at your husband, you become short tempered, and then you ask, when am I going to have time for myself? This becomes one of those Calgon take me away moments. So what do you do? Lets evaluate this.

You will never be that snappy to your boss so why do it to the one you say you love, the closet one to you, your mate and bring all that negativity into your home? Then the negative vibes ware off on your kids and you snap at them and pop them because your patience is just gone. Forget they are on your last nerves, you have no nerves any more. Men will never understand the demands and challenges of being a mom and why because they were not made to fulfill that role which is the same reason why they were not made to carry the children. Were you ever amazed at how we can easily just transition into the role of being a mother? The making bottles, caring for them, making sure they have everything they need, being the chauffer, the on all nurse, the everything, and the joy just comes in when you get that smile form your child or that pat on the leg and they say momma, the hugs or just a laugh uncontrollably when you play with them or chase them. That’s where the guilt comes in. You are so tired from work that you miss out on a lot of this because you don’t have the energy to now come home and play and do homework and cook dinner and get ready to do the same thing tomorrow. You already feel bad you have to go back to work and let some one else raise them and have those moments. You miss the first walk, the fall downs and having some one else tell them its going to be ok and kiss the boo boo and make it feel better. All moments we cannot get back and all moments we think about while we are at work staring at a picture of them or just thinking about what they are doing. And then we wonder how they grow up so fast. Because we missed most of it being at work trying to provide for needs and some greeds and you try to sneak in a sick or a slick day every now and then to try and make up time but once its gone you can never get it back.

So you decide what’s best for you. Only you can make that decision. Will your comforts lack or things just be a little tighter because you decide to stay at home with your child or will you miss out on those little moments because we are always at work. No one can make that decision for you. Or you may be one of the blessed few who can have the best of both worlds both at home working and taking care of your kids. I have been on both sides and eventually you will have to make a choice. I have already made mine. Things will just get a little tighter and maybe God will show me favor and let me have the best of both worlds but until then, my family is my everything and they will always be first. Which one will you choose?

A New Day!

2009-10-22T19:58:00.001-04:00

This is the day that the Lord has made and I am truly going to rejoice and be glad in it. I thank God for allowing me to see another day on this side of the ground. As I look back over my life the song that comes to mind is "I wont complain". It’s easy to complain about stuff & what you don't have or want but I am far more blessed with my health a WONDERFUL HUSBAND three beautiful kids friends a church family and extended family that I would not trade for anything. I look forward to each with all that is has to offer the trials and tribulations I am sure will come but I welcome them because the rest of today or tomorrow is not promised to any of us. So I will not take each day I am given lightly. For life and each day given is a gift and the decisions and choices we make today will affect and effect tomorrow. I'll work harder to be a better wife, mother friend daughter sister cousin person Woman of GOD etc. I'll work harder each day to please GOD and not man.